five day forecast brings black tar rains and hellfire

This is why I stay away from politics.

After reading over my post from this Friday, I could only think "oh that should be changed...well, technically...that's not fair..." and so on.

Sometimes I feel it's viewed as indecision; sometimes I attribute the quality to myself. Honestly though, I just never feel that I know enough to make a sweeping call on anything. After what I've seen and experienced, I've learned one big thing- that you never really know. About people, about situations, about solutions. Maybe it's fear of being wrong, maybe it's the desire to know exactly what I'm doing at all times, but most times it's just this: More than fearing being wrong, I fear making a mistake.

You can be wrong about a person. That's okay. Making a mistake- not seeing something in someone you should have though- that's not okay with me. Or less okay, because being wrong about them in the first place bothers me too. You can be wrong about a belief or in a solution to a problem. But making a mistake that results in losing someone, in hurting people, in keeping you up at night- I desperately fear that.

It's also the science in me. It's be hammered into my head- you test everything. You hypothesize; you publish papers about you think is going on. But until you test it exhaustively, until you know, you don't really know. And I don't want to take some position and stick with it no matter what unless I know. If I don't know, I want to hear other things, other sides. I'm fascinated. I want more. Always.

But still, I was frustrated and it was soothing to write. And who reads this anyway? So no harm done by my antagonism and faulty thoughts, where ever they were