get out from this guilt that will crush me

When I was younger, I used to play out intricate scenes in my head. A lot of the time, they would be about something tragic- the school burning down, me being seriously injured, my parents becoming gravely ill.  Sometimes I worry that I caused my father's fatal illness by thinking these things.  

There's this post card sent to postsecret, though. And every time I think about it, even though I don't have it, I try to push the guilt away again.  My family has an incurable disease.  Most of the time, it does have my family. But it doesn't have to have me. Not anymore than it already does. It has done enough damage. 

My family has a disease. And I have guilt. But guilt cannot have me. He has me. Life has me.